Policy Table Deep Cleanse
We shadow-hunt duplicate policies, retire “temp_allow,” and teach “all” destinations about boundaries.
from 2,100 session credits
Side suite · Fortinet
FortiOS facials · Fabric massages
Because even a FortiGate 600F deserves a UTM multi-mask.
Welcome to the Fortinet wing. We moisturize security profiles, contour firewall policies that somehow still use “all” as a destination, and run a steam room powered exclusively by diag debug flow.
- 7,000+policies exfoliated
- 99%SSL-VPN feelings validated
- 1flagship (still Palo Alto)
Multi-vendor campus Palo Alto is still the flagship. This Fortinet suite is for Security Fabric survivors who have said “it works in the lab” one too many times.
Fortinet treatment menu
Services for hardworking FortiGates
UTM Multi-Mask Facial
AV, IPS, web filter, and application control layered like a Korean skincare routine. Order matters. So does CPU.
from 2,800 session credits
SSL-VPN Glow-Up
Portal polish, realm contouring, and a gentle reminder that SAML exists and bookmarks don’t have to look like 2009.
from 2,900 session credits
Security Fabric Threading
We connect FortiAnalyzer, FortiManager, and your feelings. Downstream devices stop ghosting the root FortiGate.
from 3,400 session credits
diag debug flow Steam Room
Brutal honesty therapy. The packet will tell you exactly where it died. Bring a towel and emotional readiness.
from 1,200 session credits
FortiManager Couples Package
ADOMs learn to share. Policy packages stop fighting. Install previews become a mindfulness exercise.
from 4,500 session credits
SD-WAN Contour
Performance SLA brow lift, rule prioritization polish, and “why did it prefer the bad link” group therapy.
from 2,400 session credits
HA Cluster Couples Massage
Heartbeat realignment, session pickup affirmations, and a firm no to split-brain drama.
from 4,700 session credits
Signature treatment
Full Fabric Radiance Ritual
Policy cleanse + UTM multi-mask + Fabric threading + debug steam. Ends with a ceremonial execute backup (imaginary).
from 9,200 session credits
Curated packages
Choose your Forti destiny
Express Refresh
FortiGate 40F–100F day spa
- Top 30 policies tidy
- Interface alias poetry
- One free “get system status” selfie
799 session credits
SelectMost booked
Fabric Radiance
Mid/high-end FortiGate + FAZ
- UTM multi-mask facial
- Policy deep cleanse
- SSL-VPN glow-up
- Complimentary debug flow session
4,100 session credits
SelectChassis Royalty
FortiGate 600F+ / chassis VIP
- HA couples package
- FortiManager therapy
- SD-WAN contour
Price upon syslog
SelectFrom the chassis
Testimonials
“I had web filter in monitor mode for three years. The multi-mask facial made me finally commit. My users hate me. My logs love me.”
“diag debug flow steam room is not gentle. It is correct. I needed that.”
“FortiManager couples package fixed our ADOM custody battle. Policy packages now share weekends.”
“Visited Palo Alto flagship for the cucumber energy. Came here for the throughput. Stayed for the jokes.”
Reservations · Fortinet suite
Book a makeover
Client-side gag form only. Zero packets leave the building.
- Bring your FortiCare emotions
- HA clusters book as couples
- Miss the flagship? Palo Alto is still home
Fine print
FAQ
Is this real Fortinet support?
No. Pure comedy. Real issues go to FortiCare, your partner, or a change window with a rollback plan.
Why is Palo Alto the main page?
Flagship status. Fortinet gets this full suite; use the sticky salon bar to hop vendors anytime.
Affiliated with Fortinet?
No. Fortinet, FortiGate, FortiOS, FortiManager, and related names are trademarks of their owners. Jokes only.
Your FortiGate is one multi-mask away from greatness.
Or return to the Palo Alto flagship for App-ID brow lifts.
Book the Fortinet suite